from my cousin big bert, made me laaaaaauuuugh:

After digging to a depth of 100 metres last year, Russian scientists
found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the
conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one
thousand years ago.
So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists
dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read: "US scientists have
found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that
their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000
years earlier than the Russians."
One week later, a Filipino newspaper reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 500 metres, Filipino scientists have found
absolutely nothing.
They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using
wireless technology".